I have been living this year with no direction, with no goals. My mind in vast dark night where I wonder of the things I am supposed to do, where I wonder if there are any meaning through all of these emptiness. Where is it? Where are you?
Where is it?
Where is my view of my future, the one I have alwayds held and kept me going on for years of struggles and challenges. Where is my motivation? You have now become a ghost of the past, I, knowing your presence, but you refusing to be within me.
Where are you?
Where are you the old me? The one who pursued something bigger than her. The one who knew she could do it, even when it gets hard. Where are you? Just, where the hell are you?
Some say happines is a choice. A choice. What choice do I have when everything I have hoped for don't fall into place? What choice do I have when everything I have held on never stayed. Who and what am I left with?
This soundless despair hidden behind fleeting smiles and loud laughters, hidden behind the retweets of motivational quotes and encouragements, hidden behind denial and withdrawals on nights of escape. This soundless despair that I presumed to have come to eat me whole, but this time I have listened to this soundless despair... I thought if I did it would break me to fragments of loneliness, but now I have listened. It told me: "I am your soundless despair, I am your pain and your fear. I have not come to destroy your whole being but I want you to accept me, because I am you, I am part of your of every fiber and soul of your existence. I do not want you to fear me, but accept and face me until you never have to run away again. I just want you to feel something, again, and find everything that you have lost and build again what you can not have back. You may have been lost, but you will be back, changed for the better."
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Where is it?
Where is my view of my future, the one I have alwayds held and kept me going on for years of struggles and challenges. Where is my motivation? You have now become a ghost of the past, I, knowing your presence, but you refusing to be within me.
Where are you?
Where are you the old me? The one who pursued something bigger than her. The one who knew she could do it, even when it gets hard. Where are you? Just, where the hell are you?
Some say happines is a choice. A choice. What choice do I have when everything I have hoped for don't fall into place? What choice do I have when everything I have held on never stayed. Who and what am I left with?
This soundless despair hidden behind fleeting smiles and loud laughters, hidden behind the retweets of motivational quotes and encouragements, hidden behind denial and withdrawals on nights of escape. This soundless despair that I presumed to have come to eat me whole, but this time I have listened to this soundless despair... I thought if I did it would break me to fragments of loneliness, but now I have listened. It told me: "I am your soundless despair, I am your pain and your fear. I have not come to destroy your whole being but I want you to accept me, because I am you, I am part of your of every fiber and soul of your existence. I do not want you to fear me, but accept and face me until you never have to run away again. I just want you to feel something, again, and find everything that you have lost and build again what you can not have back. You may have been lost, but you will be back, changed for the better."
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